fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i hate every time this happens when i feel so.. emo. i dont know why i always have to do this to myself, make myself suffer. i want to stop.. everything. i just want to sit down in the middle of a big green field with flowers and maybe a cow and on a picnic mat because the grass would be disgusting and i want to have someone there with me to talk things out to talk about life, my life and his/hers. i just wish there was more to what im doing to me, its always just this and fullstop and the pain stays and it builds up and comes back once in a while i wish there was a way to make it all disappear. &i dont want to just talk, i really want to talk. i want it to be sincere. and from my heart &yours.

on a lighter note, today while accompanying Kandace &Cindy before their OBSE:

Cindy: What do you call a Gingerbread man with no legs?
Me & Kandace: *thinks*
Me: *starts to stone*
Kandace: Uhhh...
Cindy: A gingerbread man with no legs
Me & Kandace: HAAHAHAHHAHAHA (we thought that was the answer.)
Cindy: ?? So what's your answers?
Me: Huh you mean that wasnt the answer?
Cindy: NO!
Me: WTFLOLBBQHAHA
Kandace: HAHAHAHA you know i also thought that way for a moment but then i thought, cant be so lame lah!
Me: *attempts to guess*
Kandace: We give up!
Cindy: Limp Biskit.

WTF. HA. what a long conversation. i need to start popping pills and smoking weed and shizz. :) and die soon.