im fucking sorry if you've cried
at all

im fucking sorry if i've said fuck
too many times

im fucking sorry
cos all that ive done

was real

im fucking sorry
this is me, i say bad words

but i do love you as a friend, i swear.
i swear.

we've quarrelled before

i regret
i was such a bitch

but
i cant take some things

i guess
you'll never forgive me;

i guess
right now

you're thinking that everything im saying

are lies
lies

lies
lies.

i know
that ive said bad things,
bad things about you

i know
i say bad words

but i dont mean to hurt anyone
im just like that

tape up my mouth
sew it up
rip it off, whatever you please

i dont mean it.

i'd call my best friend a bitch just because i got whacked in the head

i'd call my teacher, my mother a bitch just because they pissed me off

i'd call myself a bitch, a stupid fucking bitch just because you wanted it

once again

i dont mean it.

youve never mentioned that my words hurt you

how would i have known you were hurting inside?

i chose to believe in other people, people including you

i believe in all of you

but the only one who changes my mind
is me

me and me alone

you were my friend when we had fun

and you still are,
though i dont think im your friend anymore

its just that sometimes

i feel so invisible to you

just because you've got someone else

thats not real to me.

you were always there to share what you had

you not just "another" rich kid
you're not a flirt
you're NOT a bitch
and i know
you're not acting

its true

so long as you know yourself

why give a damn

but i give a damn

my pride is NOT everything

why care so much about pride if its hurting my friend?

i'd do anything

not to make you say sorry;

if you needed it

if you wanted it

i would.

i dont want to lose you

though i think i already have


i just hope we'll stay as friends

true,

real,

never faking,

never acting,

never lying,

good,

trusting

friends.



i dont know what im doing. what am i doing? i'd say sorry to you a million times, but its inevitable, i just hope you'd smile at everyone. i dont know much about the both of you, but i know your best friend needs you. i hope the two of you will be just fine in the end.. you're no typical rich kid, you're my friend, whether you're rich or not. so what if you're rich? at least you'd share what you had, what you have. thats enough for me. the only thing is, sometimes you're really too arrogant. doing stupid things are alright, if you want it that way. but could you please not go crazy all of a sudden? it scares me. seriously. ive always treasured our friendship.. ive always treasured you, because i know you meant something to me. you meant something to me and you still do, and i hope you treasure me too.

為什麼這樣子.

已經習慣不去阻止你
過好一陣子你就會回來
印象中的愛情好像頂不住那時間

:) finally im blogging. blahh its boring. and its fucking hard to try not to say fuck when i blog cos well FUCK THIS im not feeling very chirpy.

so well today i got to skip school cos of some tradition thing um. according to the chinese calendar its my 15th birthday and im not supposed to talk to anyone of the same age as me. etc etc etc therefore i dont go to school. so well thats fucking good news! im tired. but 8am in the morning my teacher calls. i pick up the phone and she says

"DONT YOU KNOW ITS YOUR COMMON TEST"

wtf. fuck the common tests i fucking get zero for english! and fuck that, my english is good. cant the stupid fucking teachers actually say 'study for your cts' instead of HAPPY HOLIDAYS when they dismiss us from school. zzz. so now you're thinking - dont fucking blame the teachers its your own bloody fault. fuck you! oh fine fine its my fault. i just need to blame someone, not me :) the whole day is becoming so fucked up. no ms, dofus is a waste of time, cant talk to anyone, FUCK THIS! i hate this i hate this i hate this. furthermore im eating so many chocolates now i feel like vomiting. IM HUNGRY! shall go cook noodles. then eat and sleep and never wake up. THAT, would be nice. and fuck stupid blogger i cant put arrows. zzzzz. someone please call me. (as long as you're not born in 1991.)
PLEASE and thankyou :)

and i wish, i wish youd know how i felt
cos i dont think you know the real me
we're both too shy to admit, we're so in love

i wish
someday
youd call me and say

i love you

you love me but you dont know who i am so let me go
just let me go

dont let me go.

所以你棄權